Black and White Tumblr Themes
"I am the reason for my own sadness"
-an eight word story (b.p)
"You get depressed because you know that you’re not what you should be."
-Marilyn Manson   (via bonlver)
"I shut down to protect myself."
-6 word story (m.s.)
Sorry just have to get it out [personal]

So.. It has been months since I have last cut. Tonight was really hard bc my parents were fighting and I didn’t know what to do with all the pent up stress. I was sitting for the longest time scratching at my palm, shaking. I wanted to hurt myself badly. I still do. Instead, I started cleaning; I couldn’t sit still, so I cleaned my room and bathroom and started on the kitchen. I still feel that odd pit in my stomach trying to spread back into every corner of my body. Usually it only stays in my upper abdomen and in my heart. I try to bury it under school work and Netflix. A small part of me wants to allow it to take over again, but another part of me doesn’t let it. I started wearing short sleeves again, without a sweater. I have also begun taking classes in Muay Thai and it really helps with the pent up stress; however, I am worried. Towards the end of last summer I broke off of recovery. I fear I shall do the same again. I suppose only time will tell…

Anonymous: How did you manage showing your scars to family?


One day I just decided to wear a dress and then I did. They didn’t say anything. Yes, there was a bit of awkward silence. Yes, they probably reacted behind my back/talked about it or something. It’s six years ago by now, I honestly don’t remember it too clearly anymore. It fades. These things do, if you let go. Let go of your shame, it’s useless and pointless. In time you will feel better once you do and I’m pretty sure I can call that a promise.
Stop hiding. Don’t let your past dictate your future. Your scars are yours to bear and that doesn’t have to be a burden - let go. Accept it. Your scars are what they are. Let it go and move on, please. For your own sanity and recovery.
Do it. Now.


if self harm is
for attention
why don’t you know
the reason the girl
who sits behind you in class
wears sweaters everyday
and if eating disorders are
for attention
why don’t you know
the girl who stares at you on the bus
hasn’t eaten in a week
and if suicide is
for attention
why don’t you know the reason
the boy who used to
eat lunch at your table